It is amazing how much you learn about a parent after they are gone. My mom, Anne Avegno Russell, died recently. It seemed as if everybody I talked to knew something about my mom that I didn’t. What struck me most about what I heard is the effect that she had on others. One of my friends even wrote an editorial article for the American Spectator, Anne With the Saints, about her.

Several unexpected people shared with me how my mom was instrumental in changing how they looked at life. She did this not as part of a job or out of a sense of religious obligation, but by simply being herself. Her presence seemed to have encouraged people to feel welcome around her. From that welcoming space, these individuals sensed a new dynamic to life and they were changed. Her presence seemed to say that each moment, no matter how mundane, had the potential to be magical beyond all belief.

I find myself reflecting often now on my own presence and the effects that I may be having on others. Am I seen as an energy vampire who seems to drain everybody I come in contact with? Or do I have more of an uplifting effect? I guess it depends on when you catch me and who you ask.
I am positive that my mom had no idea of the effects that she had on other people and that she rarely changed based on what other people thought of her. It is important that I develop my presence not based on the feedback that I get from others but instead based on my concept of spirituality. I can use how people react to me as information about how well I am living out my spirituality as long as their opinions do not become my defining measure.

The presence that I bring to every movement can become my spiritual practice. A more important question to ask myself might be: “ What type of presence do I want to have?” The answer will help my “being” become my response to the Biblical call to “pray without ceasing.” How my “prayer of being” develops will surely differ from how others develop their presence. We are all unique and exist in unique situations. A Christian might strive to have a presence that says “Not I but Christ.” A Rogerian counselor may want to portray unconditional positive regard. My mom chose a welcoming presence that invited a romantic love of life and the present moment.

Spiritual practices do not have to be complicated or happen in a spiritual place. Sometimes a simple change in your intention can turn an ordinary event into spiritual time. An easy way to improve your spiritual growth is to take one of your habits and make it sacred. For example, you brush your teeth every day. What a wonderful opportunity to institute a new daily spiritual practice. Below are some ways you can convert this habit into a spiritual activity.

1. Use your habit as a reminder to say a prayer.
You can say your prayer before your habit, during your habit, after your habit, or some combination of the three. You can coordinate performing your habit with saying a prayer or mantra such as the Jesus prayer. This is similar to the concept of kids washing their hands until they have sung the Happy Birthday song three times.

2. Offer up the habit itself as a prayer.
The habit itself can be a gift to God. Prayer does not always need words to be effective.

3. Express gratitude
Offer up thanks for the ability to perform the habit. In the case of brushing your teeth, you can be thankful for having healthy teeth. Offer up your habit as your response to God for blessing you.

4. Practice mindfulness by just focusing your awareness while you are performing the habit.

5. Turn your habit into visualization.
Visualize that as you are brushing you are cleaning away any distractions that are preventing you from communicating with God.

6. Turn on worship music that you listen to while performing your habit.
You can use any type of music as long as it shifts your awareness spiritually.

This concept can work with any habit. If your goal is to “pray without ceasing”, gradually convert all of your habits into spiritual practices.